Are Addiction Treatment Programs Doing More Harm Than Good? |EveningTV

feel better by smoking cigarettes or
having ice cream or or drinking alcohol or even doing heroin that that is better
than feeling bad of course usually the feeling good is short-lived and then it
gets right on into feeling bad and so let’s assume that we’re having this
discussion now about someone’s you know come to the point where they realize
that they’re feeling bad more than they’re feeling good it’s not having
them feel good at all anymore and they’re ready to quit okay so at that
point what we do well the worst thing that you can do it just makes perfect
sense to me the worst thing you could do is go to a
program or you know spend time in any kind of a program where the focus is
purely on the thing you’re trying to leave behind you know so if you’re
sitting there just I’m so-and-so and I’m an addict
and it’s just reinforcing you all the time here and addict pleasure hanging
out with people in their attic you got a drug treatment and like I said I have
been exposed and part of it whether it was myself or a family member or someone
involved in a program or I was on the board of a drug court program and then
my son well I went from the you know the most expensive exclusive kinds of
treatment down to you know I mean I’ve gone the whole Peschel on everything
including alternative treatments including treatments treatment with
iboga in in Costa Rica I took him I took him for a boga and I build it with it
with shaman and the whole thing for nine days and it was a whole a whole big
thing including that so I mean really ran the gamut of things am and ultimately what ended up yeah you know
ultimately it came down to you every time is that he you know he could get
clean and he got him clean many times but eventually the things that were
pulling him into using in the first place we’re still there and they and
they hadn’t gone away and and so and so it’s a little tricky with the law of
attraction and I’ll do this in another another episode let’s talk about how we
deal with the court issues which usually stem from from childhood trauma how we
deal with those court issues that are the root of our addictions without
creating more bad energy because alleged if you’ve done anything a lot of
Attraction it’s not a big fan of going back in time and you know stretching out
past hurts it’s not a fan of that and so then how do you get to the core of what
how do you heal the core of what the problems are so we’ll do that in another
in another episode but but in terms of a drug treatment program the it seems to
me any any program that I would I would want to come up with would definitely be
focusing a lot less on shaming the addict and make any addict focus on
being an addict and a lot more on finding the passions and finding the
thing finding the core of who the person is and and and helping them to tune in
to the fact that this life and this part that this this little this piece of us
in this body right now it’s just a small part of the bigger scheme of things that
there is this whole big vibrational universe and there is this whole big
soul existence that’s going to go on and and we’re in just one small piece of it
right here and so to give that some perspective and and and also the
perspective of that that we are so powerful that we you know there we have
that there is because all the language in AAA is all about powerlessness
and moral character defects and you know basically things that are wrong with us
ways we’ve hurt people how we need to be safe from ourselves how we need to you
know it’s just it’s just it’s it’s language that’s just all really not not
the right kind of language for people who already feel pretty bad about
themselves and he first of all my son was someone who was very in touch with
he was very compassionate and very loving and so he knew how he wanted to
behave he knew who he wanted to be and he knew how far from that he was and and
he felt way WAY worse about that than any of us
anyone else ever could have made him feel he felt ten times worse than any
anybody else did about that and the way that he saw himself was a hundred times
worse than anyone else saw him and and so he didn’t you know he didn’t need
that drilled into his head and and i you know i when i went to program myself and
uh you know i was feeling so bad about myself when i got there and then it
really seemed that the program and of course i was in a program that was going
through the the jail system and so it was even worse because then it was it
was um you know all about you know that I was absolutely you know just wrong and
you know for it just everything and and then it was kind of like heavy Canada’s
boot camp MIT philosophy were like we’re gonna you know beat you all the way down
so we can build you back up again kind of thing and you know they just had no
idea how far beaten down I already was because of course I didn’t look it I
mean I was I was a survivor I was a person who
who had been raised to you know put a smile on my face and my lipstick on and
go out the door and look like I had it together
but I was just not broken broken person when I got there and so you know them
thinking that they had to knock me down a few pegs it was just really far off
really really far off and you know I really needed to be loved and I really
needed to be nurtured and listened to and cared for and you know I really
really really needed unconditional love and compassion really I did and I and I
and and I think that’s what most I think that’s what most addicts need and I
think that a large part of what why why why a lot a big majority of them are
using is because they’re in so much pain because they’re in their world the
people in their life they don’t they don’t they don’t see enough they haven’t
experienced nearly enough of that and I know with my son my son and I had
the same my son’s mice both of my sons and I had the same root root problem we
had the same root problem from where the depression and all that came and that
was the fact that we were surrounded by people that we loved and surrounded by
people that that were abusive that that didn’t love us back so my program if I
was an enterprise descending a program I know that would have to have structure
because we need structure we need steps and so we’d have to come up with some
kind of substitution for those steps but it would it would all be a much more
positive language and it would all be about having our having power
and being being good and and being successful and it would be also not so
attached to where I am in my addiction or where I’ve been in my addiction but
it would be much more focused on where I’m going to go where I’m going to who
I’m going to be where I’m at my best who I was before the addiction even but who
I’m intended to be without this addiction problem that’s what that’s
more than what the language would be like and then I would put in a lot of
this a lot of the tools and techniques that we can use just to help beef us up
you’re like and I’ll have you other episodes and some of these things too
like tapping which is emotional freedom technique which is um where you tap at
certain points as you talk through things that are triggering to you I did
another thing with similar with EMDR where you deal with traumatic
experiences and you hold these little vibrating pallets in your hands you
watch some light bar go back and forth and it just sort of re re wires the the
way that your brain is interpreting triggers image and the traumatic things
that have happened and it sort of takes their charge out of it for you and um so
and these all these things like that really deserve you know deserve whole
episodes and so I’ll do that but we have time so so the first thing so I would I
would say the first thing we did do is really get in touch with who you are and
I’d start at the end I’d start with who you know like thinking about when your
life is over and and this kind of came to me when I was sitting there at my
son’s vigil Maui Suns vigil and you know I haven’t had lots of experience with
death I really haven’t I have had lots of experiences with loss but most of the
people that I’ve lost are still alive um which is I mean my son’s death isn’t
its own category all its all its own because that’s just that’s an incredible
kind of pain but before his death I would have to say that far in a way my I
would have said that death is the kindest way to lose someone by far the
kindest way to lose someone because you know the people in my life that had died
we’re basically my grandparents at this point it was you know all it had been
and those relations you know they they died after loving me and after a long
life and there was nothing nothing bad about it they you know except for that
actually the worst part about it was that they live too long they suffered
for too many years at the end but when they died it was you know it was it was
right that they were gone and they didn’t they didn’t abandon me he I
didn’t feel any sense that they abandoned me or they chose to that they
didn’t love me or that they chose to you know if they did they chose not to be
with me or that I wasn’t you know I failed them in some way there’s none of
that none of that but when when someone abandons you and when they’re right
there in your life they’re right like live in your town and the only thing
that’s changed is that they just don’t choose to see you anymore they just
you’re just not important enough to them to be with you know they’re just
choosing that to have you in their life that’s a whole other level of pain and
and when it’s your parents it’s the kind of rejection that is you know that goes
to the bone and when it when it goes on you know it every time it happens for
years I mean you know even still even still even with all the work I’ve
done I mean it’s you know it’s far better than you know but even still even
with all of us I’ve done there is a little a little place for it just it you
know it it it hurts me is it justice is to shame and because I know what it cost
us and what it especially cost my children and me is that you know I know
that my son my son is gone because he was born into a family because he was a
sensitive kid who needed a lot of support and he was born into a family
that was an emotionally abusive family

Comments 18

  • Wow! I used to be an addictions counselor and I knew it was because my parents were alcoholics and addicts and ran in my family- that's why I was drawn to that career . But you're right, I saw so many repeated visitors at the rehab ; and if they got cured of alcoholism it was just to jump into another addiction.

  • The current system doesn’t understand the root of most addictions. I don’t even think narcissistic abuse is in the DSM and most therapists don’t know how to diagnose it or what it even is. Addictions are coping mechanisms, though be it faulty ones that have been mainly acquired from childhood abuse. I would bet huge amounts of money (that I don’t currently have) that narcissistic abuse is HIGHLY linked or suspect in many cases of addiction, premature death, and mysterious crippling illnesses. The root of the problem is not the addiction. Help to fix the person within that is broken and damaged first, next, tackle everything else.

  • Interestingly, I read about a recent study which showed that:
    9% of the general population reported being abused (in some way) as children,
    82% of Obese people report having been abused as children,
    79% of Anorexics report the same,
    63% of Bulimics ditto.
    No doubt nearly all abused by narcissists.
    Narcissism = Obesity Epidenic = Type 2 Diabetes Epidemic = Amputations = Death
    (Not to mentions High Health Service Costs).

  • Another interesting study regarding narcissistic childhood abuse and its repercussions.
    A Gothenberg Study (Sweden) studied 7,500 men over 35 years.
    It found that men that reported being stressed much of the time had a 45% chance of developing Type 2 Diabetes. Their diet, lifestyle etc. were all taken into consideration.

    The reason for this was that when stressed a person produced a hormone called Cortisol, a 'Fight or Flight' hormone. Cortisol then triggers the liver to produce Glucose (sugar) by utilizing the protein stored in the liver (not by utilising any sugar/carbohydrates that may/may not have been eaten).

    If constantly stressed, the glucose constantly floods the bloodstream and the pancreas cannot produce enough insulin to mop up the glucose or ceases to produce insulin, which is what Diabetes is. The glucose then damages every cell that it comes into contact with and over time causes irreparable damage to every organ and nerve.

    What causes constant stress or the inability to handle everyday normal stressors later in Life?Narcissistic Abuse.
    Ergo, Narcissism = Stress = Cortisol = Diabetes = Illness = Death.

  • This video made me think that perhaps Narcissism is more of an addiction than we once thought? I don't mean your son, but rather the people that we have identified as a Narcissist. In fact, this may prove that your son may have been a victim of a Narcissist who is addicted to Narcissism. What makes a Narcissist turn form natural loving and caring to hateful spite of others who are able to love and give unconditionally? The Narcissist is the exact opposite of what a person should be and should be striving for. Rather we see a person who seems to never be satisfied with life. We, on the other hand, are most of the time very comfortable with ourselves until someone close tries to challenge our natural ability to love. we put ourselves into a state of self-examination because we do care about our natural ability. So we land up doing exactly what a Narc wants us to do and the Narc keeps us there constantly.

    Back to Narc addition, hmm I'm scratching my head over this. The addiction seems to be the Narc experiencing others trying to fix themselves when in fact they have no problem to fix and knowing this the Narc has a show to watch and they get a high from watching it. And this high begs for more. We might call it Gas-lighting addiction. There are probably other ways to state the same meaning? This is just a thought and I hope others give it a thought as well.

  • Thank u for sharing this video.Thumbs up ..Evening Ransom

  • My launch of this video was messed up and so it didn't get seen in the first 48 hours and now is lost in youtube world never to be seen by anyone obviously. I appreciate those of you who did find it when it was launched, watch it and comment. I might have to try this one again. I can't imagine the lack of views equates to lack of interest in the topic, but maybe so which would explain a lot. .

  • Addition industry like all others are more interested in profit.Clearly the affected person must be vested in their rscovery.The programs are only as good as the person.

  • I can dig it!!!!!!!

  • You are right about needing to find things meaningful inside yourself to make quitting worth it. Something inspiring and something that you can occupy your time with. AA meetings make me jones very hard….all that coffee drinking cigs and talking about when they used to get high! Thank you for your videos. Yes tapping is very good! Hello from Phoenix Arizonza

  • Dual diagnosis the current approach detox,behavior modification, talk therpy,sponsorship regular meeting's

  • you'll never control the drugs untill all our borders have walls up to keep out cortel and drugs. then there would be away to control. drugs.

  • ya suboxone has done more good for me than anything. Suboxone is safe if you do it right. If you need then they need to let you have it. Damn. Addiction sometimes ain't the problem. It's not having it that's the problem

  • I did ninety days in, eventually failed / then I did 30 days in, 90 days in step down outpatient. And AA for 2 years. Now I go periodically to a meeting but strengthening my spirituality through the process helped. Many many years later, different life, sobriety, etc., often I find that the people who criticize these programs are ones who could not succeed in them or did not like having peers point out their own bullshit to them. You make one point that I agree with and that is constantly referring to oneself as an addict is not healthy long-term – dealing with the social hierarchy in the program of people who have been sober for many many years can be offputting. But at the end of the day it all comes down to one’s desire to finally get sober and to be willing to set aside one’s ego and do what the program says.
    It is a perfect example in my opinion of someone who just doesn’t get it when they judge the program and try to recommend ways it can be better., those individuals missed the point the program is not about you it’s about the program. Secular forms font heal addiction. While it doesn’t have to be Christian or Muslim or any other denomination rebalancing the spiritual mental emotional and physical component of one’s health leads to long-term sobriety. Thank you for sharing your opinion – I have a totally different perspective but thank God we all get to share our own perspectives.

  • All i learned in rehab was how to be a ‘better’ addict. Was like drug use college.

  • I hope the video launches are going better. Hello again from phx az where drug use has been going strong for many years! There are several opinions i have cultivated in 30 yrs or so……one is that sucessful programs and info are not available to the groups of people who need it the most. Most people in programs are there to satisfy some legal problem they are navigating( which in itself is the kind of pressure which drives addictive binging), which usually will end up in more legal trouble and is kind of a self defeating process! There are many factors involved in addiction and the points at which people are ready to quit are different and ive read that often people respond to different ways to quit. Old phsychology today issue from the 90's is where i read this….i had some sucess with a process of weening myself off everyday habit into one week a month of using. It was actually a better tactic in my own case rather than cold turkey and AA bound! Information about what is physically occuring seems to eliminate some of the guilt…..being ready on your own choice has to be more sucessful than being required to quit for probation etc! Check out SMART RECOVERY! They are not as abundant as AA meetings, only i feel that this is a more positive and modern group to join in whichalso sees that relapsing is deffinately part of the process of quitting rather than a failure to quit ( which is shamed in almost every support group and family ive ever witnessed)! My counselor told me once that to be eager to change is fine only you cannot fix yourself in a couple weeks or months the things which took your whole lifetime to perfect( addictions or other disorders which go hand in hand with substance abuse). I believe that art and writing and mentoring others in thier own journey to quit are all self evolving tools which can be effective things to focus on. Personally i see the biggest setback in the people ive known and observed for all these years is thier families ostrasizing the addict from family functions thier children etc! I mean go to a couple thanksgiving dinners high on drugs and feel odd and still welcome there and i guarantee you will feel more compelled to quit than if you are not welcomed there or are denied visiting your kids( this brings to mind the kinds of pressure that holidays alone would surely inspire addictive binging and guilt which could setback any inspiration for quitting an entire lifetime). Still having family interactions seems to me a more genuinely inspiring supportive way of not giving up on a lived one….and give up on what thier idea of how or what the addict should be doing or feeling….just be a normal family and encourage sucesses and downplay setbacks with smiles. Anyway much more than i expected to say only addiction happens to be one thing in my life which i have suceeded at and excell at! Like i said drugs and phx az have a long history together…. Im praying that you find everyday a blessing no matter where your journey takes you. Hopefully you will keep making videos and yours and many of our fellowship can unfold right here together. Sometimes the worst experience will somehow(as we arent able to see then), bring some better, new, beautiful outcome…and this is very powerful as it becomes visable to us in a revealing unexpected surprise. The affect is inescapeable no matter how many times it occurs.

  • You are spot on. Thank you for this video.

  • What is your experience with addiction of any kind and/or treatment? The numbers are outrageously bad (`92% failure rate for traditional 12 step based treatment), so how do we fix it? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section, like and share this video and subscribe to Evening TV. 🔔– and don't forget to hit the notification bell.💕

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