Last Time on Inanimate Insanity… Wow. I can’t believe it’s the finale. You know, I think I’m going to recap every episode really super quickly. Ready? Go. First Time on Inanimate Insanity… The initial contestants were introduced: Baseball, Knife, Paper, OJ, Taco, Nickel, Salt, Pepper, Bomb, Marshmallow, Paintbrush, Pickle, Lightbulb and Balloon. Balloon: Oh, come on! Lightbulb and Balloon became the team captains, and the animation sucked. Lightbulb and Balloon picked the teams, Epic and Chicken Leg. Don’t ask. Balloon may have been bossy, but Taco’s random lemon spitting led the Chicken Legs to victory, and Paper was eliminated. The contestants had to pelt rocks at each other. Despite Knife’s strategy, the Nickel and Baseball power duo, and Lightbulb doing nothing, team Chicken Leg won again and Baseball went bye-bye. Balloon tried to take advantage of his alliance with OJ and Bomb during the slingshot challenge. Pickle and Taco defeated the roasted Mashmallow, (don’t ask) and team Chicken Leg won again. Lightbulb was unfairly eliminated and boring golf ball stacking commenced. The viewers voted off that meanie Knife and the ignoramus Apple joined the game. Nickel’s team finally won a challenge, but immediately after, Nickel was swapped out with Lightbulb, who rejoined. Team Chicken Leg voted off that bossy Balloon, and OJ and Bomb reconstructed their alliance to fit in Pickle and Taco, but their team ended up losing due to Salt and Pepper’s diet. MePhone4S tried to steal the show from the host, MePhone4, but was defeated. Pepper was eliminated and Salt was sad. Lightbulb was re-eliminated by one vote and Salt revealed she had a thing for OJ. Marshmallow and Apple had a conflict over the existence of Santa Claus, who turned out to be real. Yeah. Paper rejoined the game, even though he appeared to have evil problems, and this weird chair enthusiast Bow joined too. Bomb betrayed his friend OJ to win a challenge, and OJ didn’t like that. Both Salt and Paintbrush were eliminated, and OJ quit his alliance including Bomb and joined and joined one with crazy Paper, who won the Aquatic challenge. MePhone4 pushed me off a cliff and we quietly settled our case out of court. Oh, and Bomb was eliminated and Marshmallow snapped at everyone. The rivals Apple and Marshmallow faced off in an elimination tiebreaker, and Marsh ended up being eliminated. Paper finally faces his evil self during a wrestling challenge, and conquered him using a piano. The eliminated contestants try to escape, but fail. Apple is eliminated, just before Taco ran out of lemons. While Pickle was trying to help her find more, they inadvertently end up winning the challenge. MePhone4S came back to tell 4 someone was coming, but 4 trapped him in a cage before he could finish. Bow was eliminated and put in a rather small box, and OJ finally won a challenge with Paper’s help. Pickle and Taco had to part ways when Pickle was eliminated, and in a shocking twist, the contestants got to eliminate a second person! After Salt and Pepper broke up as BCFFs over OJ, Paper ended up getting eliminated again, leaving OJ and Taco as the final 2 competing for the $1,000,000 prize. [panting] And that’s what you missed on… Inanimate Insanity! Hey, Nickel! How’s it going? Eh, it’s going pretty good, I guess, except for the fact that we’ve stuck in this stupid cage for months! Well, it’s not that bad. Are you kidding me, Nickel? Yeah, what are you saying, Baseball? It’s awful here. I mean, the only thing worse than Idiotic Island- Aaah- Oh, no! Everyone: Aaaah! -choo! Sorry, had to sneeze. But, it isn’t as bad as I remember. Yeah! And plus, we’ve learned so much from each other over all this time- Hey! Who wants to leave Idiotic Island? Get me out of here! Eh… [intro music] I’m telling you, the finale will go fine! Adam: Ugh, whatever, just make sure MePhone4S doesn’t escape or something… I may have screwed up in the past, but I assure you, everything will go according to plan. Alright, you idiots, after over a year of competition, watching their friends and enemies leave one by one, Only Orange Juice and Taco are still in the game. OJ: Awesome! Taco: Aooh! But the million dollar prize can’t go to both of you, so in order to decide this, you will compete in one final challenge. The winner of this challenge gets the million, and the loser gets squat. Oh, man. That’s rough. Not even a million squats… Hey, can we leave this crapfest yet? Not yet! Sit in the bleachers of the constant you think will win. Taco! Oh. Wow! Almost everyone here’s got my back! Maybe even Balloon! No, not really. Screw you. Now, the final challenge is what I like to call the master challenge. Huh? What’s that? It’s every contest combined! Just in case you’re brain-dead and you’ve forgotten, the challenges in order are: The Crappy Cliff, Lemon Collecting, Arena of Death, Slingshot Contest, Stacking 3 Golf Balls, Obstacle Course, Candy Collecting, Quicksand Crossing,- -Christmas Tree Contest, Crossing the Cactus Desert, Finding the Golding Coin in the Lake, Crappy Cliff Again, Wrestling Contest, Capture the Eliminated Contestants, and finally, Tile of Terror! Wow! That’s a lot of contests! It sure is, you unknown gender freak! OJ, for winning the last challenge, and for having the most fans here, you win a prize! How is a cork going to help me? You’ll see! Okay, let’s not waste any time, you guys ready? Good luck, Taco! Heheheheheh! Start! I can’t swim! What do I d- Oh. [burp] Taco has a huge lead! Wow! You can see all the way over there with that? No, but I bet she is. MePhone! We have to sneak out of the island! Now! Hey! You’re not welcome here! Talk to the hand. Hello! Now listen to me very carefully. I’m here to help you, not hurt you! He’s going to terminate us! And take the million! Who? I tried to warn you, you senseless blockhead! It’s too late now! Who is that? The new MePhone! He’s, like, twice as fast! And half an inch taller! Liquid metal technology! You heard me! And nobody saw this coming! Nobody! Lawl! Why does he want to kill me? The same reason I was out to terminate you last year! [bang] Come with me if you want to live. What? Just come! Peh! Man! I don’t even see Taco! And I’m terrible at stacking golf balls. Peh! Aaaaah! Taco! I finally caught up! And I’m going to pass you! And… will stop narrating myself! Huh? Eww! He’ll never find us up here! So, you’re, like, my protecter now? You could say that. It’s my mission. Will you, like, do whatever I tell you to? MePhone Says: Stand on one foot. Ow! Don’t push me. Siri: Master. What do you want, Siri? Grab my hand! Not so hard! Hold on! Huh? Aaaaah!